Well, I have been fishing, and camping, and working. But not much blogging. I find I miss it, and all of you, when I take time off. I have to check up on what I’ve missed.
Holter lake is beautiful this time of year, the hills and mountains vibrant and green, mirrored in the water. Saw a mommy sheep and her little baby hopping about in the rocks. Burned my nose. Avoided burning much else so far. The rain this weekend was nice, but it kept us home. I need to get some garden type stuff done, but it keeps getting delayed. Don’t feel bad, blogging is not the only thing I have been neglecting. I read the paper yesterday for the first time in almost two weeks. (Well, except for the outdoor section!) I have some thoughts I am formulating, but politics has been rather dull lately, I think the City has avoided doing anything I need to bitch too vocally about (please correct me if I missed anything) and the rest of life continues to plod along.
I sat down here today to work, but my blog friend GeeGuy’s plaintive querry kept echoing through my mind. I know he is a tender fellow, and would take it hard if we were to abandon him, alone in the big wide world, so here I am. I could be in a bubble bath right now, sipping champagne and painting my toenails, but am slaving away at the keyboard instead, wearing my poor fingers to the bone….
I would say I will do better, but I have this thing about telling the truth.

Ahh, the first Saturday in May, The big day. I have always loved horse racing, and these young horses may become the Kings among princes. I always pick a winner and a long shot, and although I never bet money, if I did I would have won big several times in the last few years. I have a pretty good average. During the years I slaved away at Ye Olde Sign Shoppe I was blessed with an older friend who worked kinda next door. He was a bright old fellow, an Irish lad who loved- you guessed it, whiskey, women and fast horses. The women always let him down, the doctors told him to quit drinking, but horse racing was something we spent many worthwhile hours discussing at great length. He also rode his bicycle a lot, and he rode in several fundraisers every year. One of these is held on the same day as the Derby, between Great Falls and Helena. Well, he couldn’t miss his race, and he couldn’t miss his ride, so he pedaled as far as he could before post time and caught a ride back to the bar for the race. He was physically broken down, needed his knees replaced, broke from ex-wives and medical bills, tired of working so hard to pay everyone else, but so happy and full of a childlike love of life every day it was a joy to be around him. He retired, began drawing Social Security, signed up to be a Foster Grandparent, lived for just himself for a few happy months. And then we learned he had had a massive heart attack in the night and would never cheer our days with his impish smile again. I do not remember the exact date he died, but every year, on the first Saturday in May, with bittersweet joy I remember my friend.

Searching for the words.

I read the paper, and have these great thoughts to post, but by the time I sit at the computer they are gone, a few empty words hanging in the corners of my mind all that is left. I drive along, thinking on this subject, or that, and weave whole paragraphs of crafty prose, but when I return to the keyboard all that is left is a memory of the finely crafted tapestry of words, hanging in tatters, whipped by the winds of regret. I cannot find the threads to reweave, and sit in frustration, having things to say, but no direction for my nimble fingers. I resent posting worthless chatter, but sometimes do, just to fill the empty spaces, so they will stop mocking me.
In my younger days I wrote many things, the words flowing like an undamned river, and it worked and was good. But time has stolen my ability to set the images in my mind into words, and craft pictures with paragraphs. And I resent it. I want it back. I shall not go gently into that dark night…..

Hmmm...

Trying to post pictures to this piece of crap like, sucks.
Damn.

Remember to depressed robot on Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy?

No /404 here.Even tried multi. Nothing helped. I'm really depressed about this.You see, I'm just a web server... here I am, brain the size of the universe, trying to serve you a simple web page,Where does that leave me?!I mean, I don't even know you.How should I know what you wanted from me? You honestly think I can *guess*what someone I don't even *know*wants to find here?*sigh*Man, I'm so depressedIt's not pretty when a web server cries. And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?Just because I'm a web server,and possibly a manic depressive one at that?Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?Huh? I'm so depressed...I think I'll crawl off into the trash can and decompose. I mean, I'm gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?What kind of a life is that? Two effing weeks, and then I'll be replaced by a .01 release, that thinks it's God's gift to web servers, just because it doesn't have some tiddly little security hole with its HTTP POST implementation, or something. I'm sorry, I mean, it's not your job to listen to my problems, and I guess it is my job to go and fetch web pages for you. But I couldn't get this one. I'm so sorry.Believe me! Maybe I could interest you in another page? There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say, although none of them were put on *my* server, of course. Figures, huh? That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them, all day and all night long. Two weeks of information overload, and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash. What kind of a life is that? Now, please let me sulk alone. I'm so depressed...

His picture accompanied this on a link that didn't work.

Identity

So, what inspired the on-line name you use? I'll go first-I had recently returned from a trip to New York, where we saw lots of fireflys, twinkling like little fairy lights in the shrubs at my aunts house. I have always been rather taken with fireflys, and fairys and mystical fantasy creatures. Sitting here late at night bored, I thought I would start a blog, and see what happened with it. Flitting about on the winds of technology, appearing and vanishing...
How about you? (Dave, just make something up!)

After reading the Tribune on-line comment section in the paper yesterday, I decided to mention a few of the issues here. I haven’t been very vocal lately. So here is a quick breakdown-

“stop being lap dogs” I like that. The gentleman appeals to all citizens to get involved, regardless of where we stand politically. Good idea.

However, we then segue into bashing 10th Ave. “Two bit casino’s, check floating services, pawnshops, seedy tattoo shops, and massage parlors….All hallmarks of an economy driven by low wages, a bottom of the barrel work force……Helena, Missoula, and Bozeman have the sheer beauty of the mountains and openness that attracts business. ….Remove the dams, return the river to its breathtaking possibilities…Make this town come alive with possibilities.

Well, I’ve complained about the negative appeal of casinos before. I think if you look at that issue with out any bias the casino’s are not the “seedy looking” businesses many claim. Name me a run down building with poor quality signs and exterior housing a casino. Pawn shops on 10th- there are a few. Every single pawn shop on 10th is a locally (citizen) owned business as far as I know. And how many are there? I can think of three. Tattoo shops-still not very many. I do not like the paint jobs on many of the check floating/title loan buildings. Massage parlors? What, are they lining the street with scantily clad ladies of the night hanging out the windows? Where?
And what do mountains have to do with attracting business? Would we get a Red Lobster if we had a mountain? Yes, lets remove the dams and all the reasons for having them, return the river to it’s breathtaking possibilities, lose the power generated by the dams and ability to regulate water flows that allow our farmers to possibly make a living, they probably just come to town to gamble, get tattoo’s, pawn their tractors and visit those “massage parlors” anyway. And then must float a check to get home and raise your next hamburger.

Why doesn’t anyone ever bash the hair and nail salons that spring up all over, the restaurants that open and make it for a few months before closing, the used car lots lining 10th, car washes, convenience stores. There are never too many furniture stores and video rental places. How many Subways and Wells Fargo outlets are enough?

I agree we need some changes in this town. But I don’t really think we need to change the town. There is a line of apathy drawn many years ago that defines who and what we are. I see older people with any business they can make a living at, getting by. Younger people leaving in search of better possibilities. A new generation, not defined by age, saying this is a good place, let’s do something with it. Many of these people have come from other states or cities, and see our town in a better light than the people who grew up here. Why?